CHAPTER 2

I stood in front of the dressing table to view my image in the mirror. I wore a navy blue silk bob tube balloon dress that covered only half of my thighs. The dress still had a price tag on it earlier when I took it out of my wardrobe, indicating that it had never been worn although I bought it in Pretoria 6 months back. Rosie and I were going to do some last minute shopping for outfits earlier that morning but I got grounded before that could happen. A knock sounded on the door and that had me jumping under my blankets in a haste. My mom slowly opened it but I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. “Mery can I come in?” I remained still. When she realized that I was sleeping, she stood for a few more minutes, turned off the light and then slowly closed the door on her way out. I took a deep breath, uncovered myself and slid out of bed. I took out the phone Rosie sent and dialled her number. “Hey how far?” “Waiting for your green light!” she answered from the other end of the phone. “Okay I will talk to you as soon as they fall asleep.” “Deal.”
* * *
I carefully and silently opened the door to my room and tiptoed to the master bedroom where my mom and dad lay sleeping like babies. I just as silently went back into my room and called Rosina who parked outside less than 3 minutes later. I sneaked out of the front door and we were on the move in a split second. “I thought you were not going to make it to my reception.” Rosie joked. “So did I. Fortunately for me, I have a friend who is always up to no good, who gladly broke me out of prison?” I joked back and we shared a laugh. “God I hope my parents don’t catch me this time.” “Don’t worry, they won’t. We will have you back before they wake up.” “You don’t know my mom when she has me grounded. She would check on me every 10 minutes to see if I am still in the room.” “That won’t happen. It would be a miracle if they wake up even once during the next 8 hours.” “What do you mean by that?” I asked suspiciously but got no response…” Rosie !” I warned. “Let’s just say I baked a cake to make sure they enjoyed their sleep.” “You put depressant in the cake? Rosie ?!” “What? You don’t want to get caught do you?” “Of Corse not. But if my parents ever find out about this I am dead meat.” “The only way that your parents can know is if you tell them. Besides I did this. You had nothing to do with it.” “Try telling that to my mom. If she finds out that she was drugged just so I could come to your party she would never believe anything that comes out of my mouth.” “Relax will you. You worry too much. This is our little secret; nobody else knows or will come to know. So stop worrying. I didn’t go through all this pain so you can be grumpy with worry all night. Just be grateful that nobody will ever come to know that you ever even stepped out of the house,” I took a deep breath and paused for a few moments before replying. “Yah I guess you are right. I hope there are beautiful men that I can munch on at the party.” “Girl I am always right. Anyway there are many guys at the party, you couldn’t possibly miss them.” we both laughed. “Now just concentrate on having a great time tonight alright. Cheer up. We will get you home around 3am.” She concluded and from there we rode in silence until we reached the venue.
* * *
The party was so much fun. I couldn’t believe that I nearly missed it. It was set in Rose Lilly safari lodge. This was a ‘get away from civilization’ in the middle of civilization. This hotel had apparently decided to keep nature alive in the middle of the city. The trees had not been cut down, the building structures were not sophisticated just average half modern and half traditional houses. There was a place that could be rented out by a single person so they could set up camp with friends and that is where Rosie was hosting her party. Some of the guests who had checked into the hotels’ shalays came over to join us. Things had gone smoothly at the party. The fact that my parents hadn’t shown up at the party meant that whatever depressant Rosina had put in the cake was working perfectly. I had so much fun, too much that eventually I forgot that I was even grounded until it was like 3am. We were driving home around 03:15 in Rosina’s car. Music was hitting the rooftop and driving at superman speed. One thing was for sure; I was not going to have fun again after this so I was making the most of this opportunity. And oh it felt good. I couldn’t care less what happened in the next few moments as long as I was having it good now. Well, that was before a police car came from behind us and wailed the siren for us to stop. We panicked. We were both so drunk that none of us could be used as cover up. Rosina parked the car at the side of the road nervously. “Don’t say a word. Keep quiet and let me do the talking okay?” She said urgently as soon as our car came to a halt. Two police officers left the Subaru and walked towards our car. Just then it dawned on me that I was holding a bottle of vodka in my hand and I quickly found a place for it under my seat. The two officers, a man and a woman, approached and stood on either side of our car. Using their touches, they lit inside our car. “Hello ladies…” the police man greeted. “Morning officers.” We said in unison, trying to hide our nervousness. “May I ask where you are coming from this early morning?” the policewoman asked. “We are…We were just…” Rosie stammered and scratched her head trying to come up with an excuse to for our wayward behaviours. “We just came from a party…” I jumped in. Rosie slapped me on the shoulder with the back of her hand. I didn’t say out loud but I just gestured the word ‘ouch’. “Is that so?” the policeman asked.” So have you been drinking?” the policeman asked. “No! Officer we can’t drink and drive, that would be a crime.” Rosina lied. “Not even a little bit?” the Policewoman confirmed. “Well maybe just a little. But not really over the limit.” I confessed. “Mery?!” Rosie said angrily through her teeth. “Well how about we confirm that for ourselves. Please step out of the car.” We looked at each other at the policeman’s words. It would take a miracle for us to get out of the car without being all over the place. We were sure of one thing; ‘we were doomed’. The sun rays found their way into our holding cell first thing in the morning. I opened my eyes and scratched them as if they were itching or something. I stretched my arms, supposing it was across my queen size bed; butwas in for a surprise. I rolled to the side like I normally did in the morning hoping to find feather soft comfort brought about by my pillows but instead I fell to the floor and opened my eyes immediately. So last night was not a dream? Rosie and I had been arrested. I looked around the room and located her sleeping on a bed in the corner. Two other women slept on another bunk bed. I went over and shook her awake. “Rosie wake up…” “What is it?” she grumbled with her eyes still closed. “Wake up. Do you even know where we are?” “Leave me alone.” She said and turned her face to the other side. “Rosie!” I screamed at her which woke up our 2 inmates. “Hey you!” My heart almost broke out of my rib cage when the guard hit his baton against the steel bars. “Sorry officer.” I apologized and as soon as he left returned my concentration to my best friend who was still enjoying her nap. “Rosie will you wake up?” “Will you quit it?” she said angrily and turned her head to me now with her eyes open. “We are in a prison cell…” “Of course we are Mery…you single-handedly put us in here last night. So how could I not know or forget?” “What do you mean I put us in here? I didn’t do anything.” “Of course not. You did nothing except tell the police that we were coming from a party during the early hours of the morning, and drunk 5 times beyond the legal limit but driving.” “I didn’t have to say anything. They would have tested and found out anyway.” “No they wouldn’t have. If you had shut up like I told you to, I would have found a way to get us out of this mess. We wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for your stupidity.” “Me? It was your stupid idea to get me out of the house in the first place.” I lashed out. “Last time I checked it was your sorry ass that got into trouble for being expelled from school.” She lashed back angrily… “My stupid idea?” she snorted. “If you hated the idea so much you should have told me not to bother.” I settled back down on my tiny bed. Rosie was right. It was all my fault. And I was in more trouble than just being imprisoned. I had planned to get home before anyone realized that I was gone but looking at the time my parents were surely fully awake. “You are right, I’m sorry. It is all my fault.” “I don’t even want to know how people are going to look at us after this. Heaven knows that when the inmates are Rosina Piletso and Meredith Seaton, I can only imagine us making the front page of the most read magazine.” “I never knew you to be one to care what others think of you.” “I never did, but Mery look around you. We are in a holding cell. For all we know there are probably reporters outside waiting to get our pictures as soon as we get out of here. Good thing I am not going to be around for long.” “What do you mean by that?” “Well, since you missed my party, you should know that my parents handed over the business in Francistown for me to run so I will be leaving tomorrow.” “What?” I exclaimed. “And you didn’t think it important to tell me this? So you were going to leave without telling me anything?” “When exactly should I have done that Mery? When you didn’t make it to my party? No wait…when you drunk yourself to death at the bash? No not then…perhaps when you got us behind bars when I told you to shut up and let me handle the whole situation?” She concluded and I was unable to answer as a sting of guilt enveloped me. “Besides, you don’t have to face this all alone.” She continued as if uncertain what to say. “You could always come to Francistown with me.” I stopped short. Leave home? Run away from my parents’ house? Okay surely I didn’t like their controlling but for me to take off and go live elsewhere... “Come with you?” “Yes Mery come with me. Imagine all the freedom we could have without any noise from our parents.” “I can’t just take off and live elsewhere, my parents would never allow me.” “My parents this my parents that? Are you that much of a child. Who ever said your parents need to know?” I stared into my best friend’s eyes hoping for the smallest indication that maybe she didn’t mean what she was saying but got none. It looked like she meant every word she said. Just as I was about to find the words to respond to her, the jail guard hit his baton against the steel bars again, having me jumping out of my skin. “Meredith Seaton, your parents are here for you.” I got up and headed for the open gate with a lot of thoughts going through my mind. “Think about it.” Rosina gave me an assignment as I left. I froze and looked at her with an emotionless face but carried on without uttering a word.
* * *
The fire in the fire place was burning by the time we got home. While my mom impatiently waited in the sitting room, I stayed behind with my dad and pretended to wait for him while he turned off and locked the car. By the time I opened the front door she was spitting fire like a dragon. “You know I am tired of you Meredith. I have tried to put up with everything just because you are my only child but you know what? I can’t take it anymore.” She said angrily before I could even reach where she stood. “Mom I can…” “No!” she cut me off angrily before I could even finish my sentence. “I am tired of your explanations Meredith Isabella Seaton, which never come.” She froze as if observing my reaction and then… “You want to explain how you drugged us?” “I didn’t…” “Don’t you dare lie to us.” I had never seen my mom as angry as she was at that moment and I had known her for 21 full years. Even yesterday’s anger was nothing compared to what I was seeing then. “Rosie put a depressant in your cake.” I confessed on behalf of my best friend. “Well there you have it Ted. It was all your daughter’s doing.” She turned to my father who had remained silent throughout the conversation to that point. “What? I didn’t do anything. I didn’t even know Rosie put a depressant in there until she confessed it herself.” I said angrily. I was capable of many things but drugging my parents just so I could be able to make it to a party wasn’t one of them. The fact that my mom considered me capable of such an act angered me beyond measure. “Well Mery; I wouldn’t put it past you. Give one reason why I should. You lie, you cheat, you manipulate, oh and I forgot one more thing; you use drugs. Why the exception of this?” her voice seemed calm and of course challenging. “Because mom; it has never even crossed my mind to do such a thing. This was all Rosie’s idea.” “Meredith Seaton for once would you take responsibility for your actions.” “I swear mom I didn’t do any of this. I…” “You are an embarrassment to this family.” She cut my words short with her input. My mouth fell and I became unresponsive for a few moments, but as tears began to cloud the back of my eyes I ran for my room as fast as I could. I locked my door, threw myself on my bed and buried my head against my pillow weeping bitterly. My dad followed about 2 minutes later and attempted to open the door only to discover that I had it locked. “Sweetheart!” “Leave me alone.” I cried “Mery please open the door sweetheart.” He urged. “I am an embarrassment to you and your wife so just go away and let me be.” I could hear my dad’s footsteps retreating from my room. Despite everything I was associated with it still didn’t justify my own mother telling me to my face that I was an embarrassment. Now that was the most painful thing to hear, especially coming from the very woman who brought me into this world. I cried alone in my room until my eyes were all red and my head ached; probably from all the water I was losing through tears but I was not compensating for it through drinking.
* * *
I woke up around 6pm. My pillow was extremely soaked in tears. I lifted the back of my hand and placed it against my forehead hoping to cub its throbbing. I rose to my feet and down my queen sized bed. Mid-air however, I looked up and met a very unpleasant image of myself in the mirror. My mascara had apparently flowed down with my tears from earlier and now marked dark green lines on my cheeks. My hair looked like a hurricane had just gone through it and my eyes were red and swollen, probably form all the crying. ‘I need a bath’ was the only thing that crept into my mind at that moment and I rose to my feet and into my ensuit shower.
* * *
Maria Seton stood at the kitchen counter chopping vegetables. Although she could feel her husband’s stare on her with every move she made, she chose to ignore it and carry on with her cooking. She checked each of the 4 pots she had cooking on the stove and left each stove to simmer. Finally, when she couldn’t take it anymore she turned to her husband angrily struggling to keep her composure. “What?” “Don’t you think you were being a little hard on her?” “No.” “She has been sleeping for the past 9 hours” “She has a hangover she needs to sleep.” “She was really upset about you calling her an embarrassment.” “I missed the part where that’s my problem.” She said as she carelessly carried on with her tasks. Just then I arrived at the kitchen door but chose not to make my presence known just yet. I decided to wait and listen on their conversation. “You called her an embarrassment…” Ted Seaton continued. “And she is.” She replied almost losing her composure. “When other women talk about how proud they are of their daughters I can’t even stay in their company. Do you know why Ted?” When he didn’t respond she carried on. “Because I am too embarrassed to say I have a good for nothing daughter.” A surge of pain went through my heart at my mom’s words. Being called an embarrassment was one thing, being labelled as good for nothing was another. “All she ever does all day is squander money that she didn’t even work for. She drinks, smokes, parties, uses drugs. Unfortunately for me though she is too much of a daddy’s girl for her mistakes to be pointed out. “What is that supposed to mean?” “What that means Ted, is that you are reason for your own daughter’s way ward behaviour. I can try my best to rebuke her but without your input, while you are pampering her instead; I am wasting my time. Honestly my efforts are useless without you. That over there;” She pointed towards my room. “…Is your product. And you know what, I am tired…since you love her so much that just so easily overlook her mistakes; she is all yours. As for me, until she gets her head right she is no longer my daughter. I disown her.” Pain hit my stomach like a bullet. My hand came to my much needed assistance as it covered my mouth before I could squeak and get into trouble for eavesdropping on my parents’ conversation despite the fact that it was about me. My legs seemed too heavy to carry me as I dragged myself back to my room. My mom disowned me? First she called me an embarrassment, and then she called me a good for nothing, and then as if that was not good enough, she was disowning me? How was I supposed to go on knowing that my mom wanted nothing to do with me? I hoped my mom would sleep on it and feel different in the morning.
* * *
The days that followed though were a true challenge. The very following morning I had found my parents in the dining room during breakfast. Things seemed to be okay between them as they were chatting and just acting normal. As soon as I greeted them though, my mom rose to her feet and left the dining room before I could even settle down. My father took a deep breath and forced an apologetic smile on his face on her behalf for my sake. I sat and watching her back in disappointment. I thought things would be so different in the morning but by the looks of it, things were nowhere close. I understood why 18 though; so I couldn’t put the blame on her. I had made my own bed. I mean I hadn’t done anything to make her believe I could be a good girl. And at that moment it dawned on me; maybe that was just what I needed to do. Form that day onward I told myself I needed to be good so that my mom could realize that I truly was sorry for everything. So in my bedroom that night I made a list of things I needed to do to convince my mother that I wasn’t an embarrassment and that I wanted to be a better person. First I could not go out, regardless of the circumstances. That was going to be very hard to achieve, but I had to try and control myself. Second, I should clean my own room; well that would have to be every once in a while and third...; I looked up the ceiling with my pen patting lightly against my chin; that’s it…my face lit up in excitement; I will bake some goodies for them. “Perfect!” I smiled triumphantly.
* * *
“What is going on here?” my dad asked as she walked up on me in the kitchen the following morning. I was wearing an apron and baking gloves. I was using one hand to open the oven and the other hand to pull the hot baking tray filled with cupcakes out of the oven. “Morning daddy. I am just baking a few goodies for the morning tea. Breakfast will be ready in 30 minutes so why don’t you go get ready.” I replied still concentrated on my chore. “Sweetheart its 5:30 am. What time did you even wake up?” “Don’t worry. I just woke up a little over an hour ago. Just go get ready for the day. I will make breakfast.” I was now at my full length as I placed the baking tray on the kitchen counter. “Whose birthday is it?” “Nobody’s…” I laughed. “However I felt very bad about what I put you and mom through. And although I am aware that this couldn’t possibly make up for all the trouble I hope that it would be good start to show you, convince you that I wanted to change for the better. “ My dad couldn’t bring himself to say anything but the mix of emotions was clearly detectable in his face. “You don’t have to say anything dad.” I kicked in with some assurance. “I know it won’t be easy to trust me but I hope I can prove myself as time goes on.” “Somebody is growing up.” He smiled proudly. I was so easy to get my dad on my side. “It’s high time I do.” I smiled back and with a nod my dad left the kitchen. I smiled in victory at his retrieving back. Now all I needed to do was convince my ‘so hard to convince’ mom, in a similar manner. About 40 minutes later, my dad sat at the dining table nervously waiting for his breakfast. I had baked up a storm. 3 different sets of cookies sat at the dining table as one of our house helpers Bonolo helped me put them onto platters and set them on the table. I had learnt all this from our house keeper Viola. She was the one more around than my own parents when I was growing up since they were always working. Even when they stopped working and set up their own business I only saw them less than half the time. I took off the apron and hung it back on its hook before settling down on my favourite chair. “Breakfast is served.” I gestured proudly. “Wow. You really outdid yourself today honey.” “I will take that as a compliment, so thank you.” My mom chose that very moment to walk into the kitchen with both hands on her left ear securing her diamond earring. “Morning...!” she said and bent slightly to kiss my dad’s cheek, ignoring me completely. “Morning honey.” My dad said and she securely settled into a chair adjacent to my dad’s. “Morning mom.” I said in the lowest of voices and was certain she wouldn’t reply when she surprised me. “Good morning Meredith.” The lack of emotion in my mom’s voice was highly evident. It pained beyond measure to witness that first hand. All of a sudden it felt like I wasn’t even her daughter. My dad must have noticed because he looked at me with such regret you would think it was he who uttered the empty words. My mom on the other hand seemed to not have a care in the world as she got busy pouring herself tea and then helping herself to one of the cookies. “Wow!” she exclaimed with her hand against her mouth to cover its contents. “This is amazing. I didn’t know Bonolo could bake.” “Actually Bonolo didn’t bake those.” My dad interjected. “Yah I knew she wouldn’t bake like this. No offence but this is exotic. Who did? Is it Viola?” My dad looked at me and I didn’t have to ask what he wanted me to say. “Actually mom I baked those!” I watched as my mom’s excited expression changed and almost immediately she stopped chewing. After freezing for a few moments she picked up her serviette and emptied the contents of her mouth onto it. “And what exactly did you put for us in here this time?” “Honey...!” my dad tried to step in but she continued as if she hadn’t even noticed. “You are unbelievable you know that?” she said and got up and left the room. I watched her in disappointment once again. I didn’t know what it would take to have her on my side. I knew I had already won my dad over. Well he always had a soft spot for me, my mom was a bit more challenging to convince and has always been.
* * *
Days seemed to drag by as my mom seemed to harden her heart all the more each time I tried to convince her I had changed. I tried everything I could think of; from keeping my room up to date, to cooking breakfast every morning; although she never ate it, to taking care of the garden. Even the house help was more than grateful for the helping hand. I started to get on well with our house help such that sometimes I would help with their chores. Rosie and I still called each other every night and perhaps the reason why I was able to keep my act up was because she wasn’t around to convince me to go out with her. She had apparently left for Francistown immediately after getting out of the jail. She tried to convince me every day to come join her, but I would hesitate. “Well, when you are ready I will be waiting.” She would say each time I turned down her offer to go to Francistown. One day while my mom and dad were at work I decided to help Viola vacuum the sitting room. I decided that I would go into the dining room next. I was about to unplug the vacuum cleaner from the sitting room socket, but decided against it when I realized it was long enough to go around the dining room. It was late and the sun had already gone down. Suddenly there was a power failure and the lights were out; even the vacuum machine stopped. I fixed it in an upright position and used my phone touch to navigate my way through the sitting room to my room. Never in a million years had I ever reckoned that it might be a hazard until a crushing sound reached my ears a few minutes later whilst I was in my room. I came out. Thinking that the vacuum cleaner probably fell to the floor, however I was met by my mom on the sitting room screaming in agony. Viola was already by her side when I arrived. “Mom are you okay?” I rushed to her side and knelt down. It was still dark due to the power failure, however the infrared light Viola carried emitted enough light for me to see our surrounding. Although I couldn’t say it out loud, I had the slightest idea what might had transpired. While I was still in a fix trying to figure out what to say or do my mom was screaming… “Ah my leg…Whatever tripped me?” As if God was on her side the power was suddenly back. The lights came on again and the machine re-started. Out of instinct I rushed to the living room and turned it off. I closed my eyes and took a silent prayer before going back to the sitting room. I braced myself for the worst…I already knew that there was going to be a storm.